Get Divorced! Stories from those who never thought they would - but who aren't looking back

Visitors to this site and readers of my articles and blogs are often looking for an inspirational story to show them how it is possible to manage a long and difficult divorce, to get divorced and to move on to greater things. This article is about Gabriella  Guglielminotti-Trivel who became a client just before Christmas 2006.

Gabriella was between lawyers and facing Christmas and New Year not knowing where she was headed – court, settlement, with lawyer or without? She had an important court hearing in mid January, not knowing whether she had legal support or not and we discussed at length how she might manage her difficult divorce. 

A few months later, summer 2007, I caught up with Gabriella and was amazed at how she had moved on. She wrote to me: ‘I am clear by now that my mission is inspiring others to go back in contact with themselves and want to spend the rest of my life doing it in any way I can think of ... ‘

I knew that she had finally divorced after a long and difficult divorce and she was ‘emerging from a black cave’. But I was amazed at her transformation into someone who was not only recovering from managing a difficult divorce, but also taking herself right outside her comfort zone by undertaking a ‘Cool Challenge’ – an expedition to Antarctica. I thought we could learn a lot from her and put the following questions to her:    

Gabriella, why Antarctica?

“Being a travel addict most places will do, but Antarctica was top of my list. I came across this opportunity at a seminar in June where I met Peter Bland, the explorer who organizes the expedition, and chatting with him I quickly understood that I had in front of me somebody who does exactly what I want to do: combining nature and knowledge of the mind to take people to a different level of awareness.  

Antarctica is also the only place on Earth where no conflict has happened - yet. Antarctica has no human inhabitants and only scientists are allowed to stay there for a maximum of six months in the international bases. It is the last pristine paradise on Earth and the choice was pretty easy for me.” 

What convinced you to do this expedition? 

“For me Nature is my first and most important teacher: I love nature and the outdoors. The idea of exploring such a remote place with similar minded people and mentors is a real plus as the whole experience will be enhanced by the synergy created by the group

I like stretching myself and facing my limits by facing fear. I needed a break from it all after my long and difficult divorce and I wanted to do something different that could serve my future career too.” 

How has your divorce made this possible? 

“The divorce really stretched me and made me very resilient and patient. It triggered a soul searching process which made me revise my whole life and want to understand more about myself: I rediscovered my passion for the mind, the unconscious and my spiritual questand so I trained in NLP (neuro linguistic programming) and became even more curious. Three days after the second and final court hearing I came across this opportunity and realized that I was ready to jump into life and the unknown - I decided to go for my dreams and passion.”

What were the low points? 

“The low points were  those moments where I couldn’t see the end of it, because my husband didn’t seem willing to terminate the relationship in a friendly and quick way, but kept fighting hoping for some resolution …. and wouldn’t negotiate at all! I didn’t know what to do to speed up the process and try to move on with my life – all I could do was to be patient and calm and not react to the intimidation and procrastination” 

The high points?

“Standing in my power and in my ground without panicking which made me aware of my values and what I really want in my life

The creation of a high level of self-awareness that will stay with me for the rest of my life.”

Any regrets? How might you have done things differently? 

“I wish I had been more aware of myself earlier on in the relationship, so that I could avoid such low point. Perhaps I could have come out of it without all the legal entanglement; but hindsight is useless as we can only live the present.”

What advice do you have to others facing divorce? 

“Look for help immediately in any area of life: the emotional, psychological, legal, social; the thinking (that you will be all right.) It is not going to help the presentto know that everything will improve with time. The only thing that can improve things is by taking action and being guided by someone who has already gone through the process or is providing professional help/advice. Friends can only do so much and are never impartial. W hat really makes life easier is self-knowledge and awareness, all the rest is a consequence of it.” 

What did you find helpful about 1:2:1 support from The Divorce Coach? 

“I found it very helpful talking to Kirsten because she would always be very positive, encouraging and practical. I could vent a bit my emotions without being encouraged to linger in my sorrow; I know now that in such difficult moments it’s normal to get stuck in the pain and lose sight of the future and the way out of it. A t this point in time it’s important to talk to the right people to transform a disadvantage into a lesson for the future ahead, instead of digging even a bigger hole for oneself.” 

What’s next for you? 

“First of all I want to prepare in the best possible way for this adventure, physically, psychologically, emotionally and at the same time keep working at my future projects.”

Future projects?

“I want to help as many people as possible with the tools that I learnt with my NLP training; I want to empower people that are going through transformations and need to rekindle the relationship with themselves. My mission is to set people free of their limiting beliefs and phobias. For me there isn’t a greater satisfaction than seeing the shine and light coming out a person’s face when he/she realizes his/her infinite potential.”  

And after Antarctica?  

“I have a big project that is shaping little by little in my mind that will involve going to a different continent. I can’t say more than this at the moment, because it is all in the making. My divorce taught me that any process in life requires time and can’t be rushed through; patience is a rare virtue, difficult to be acquired and appreciated.” 

To learn more about Gabriella' click her website here or contact Gabriella Guglielminotti-Trivel by emailing flyinginspiration@yahoo.co.uk 

  
Gabriella was featured in ‘You’ magazine on May 11 2008 "Can You Survive the 7 Year Itch?” by Sadie Nicholas. Click here to read on-line.

You can read some successful case studies here of clients we have helped in some challenging situations.