Inexpensive separation and divorce help, advice & support from The Divorce Coach for men and women

Welcome to The Divorce Coach January newsletter sharing news, services and products which make long-term relationship breakup a more positive experience.

I like New Years. It's easy to believe that we can turn a page on a calendar on the old year and magically enter a new 'better' year.

Early in January is reknown as being the the most common time for making a decision about a very unhappy relationship. It's easy to feel disappointed at this time of year as we are reminded of another year passing and things left undone.

If this year is to be different (and if you believe it can be different, then it will be different), now is the time to review where you are and what you can do.

If by asking these questions, you find yourself wondering whether you are facing separation – divorce even – the hardest question to find an answer to may be "How do I know my marriage is really over?" You may find some inspiration in our new FREE special report from BreakupAngels.com our sister organisation (see below) :

"The 8 Most Overlooked Questions to Save You Pain, Money & Stress..Before Divorce Becomes Your Reality."

The main signs are poor communication and avoiding communicating. Do you stay away from home to avoid contact? How do you feel when your partner is out of the home? Relieved? On edge when they return?

It is said that a healthy interaction is five positive exchanges to one negative exchange. Or perhaps you don’t communicate at all.

Click here to read more about my article which was published in Families Upon Thames magazine last autumn. Other questions include:

An important thing to realise is that it takes both parties willingness to change to make reconciliation truly work.

If you are weighed down with worries brought about by the credit crunch you might also be putting off facing up to the reality that your relationship has broken down? On an optimistic day you might be thinking things will improve as spring approaches. But if you are feeling very emotional and finding it hard to pretend anymore, it might be time to explore the underlying issues behind the serious relationship breakdown so that you can make sure you can take back control.

If you start addressing the underlying issues of a broken down relationship now you will see that 2009 can be different by taking the time now to review where you are and what you can do. But many people do not know where to turn or who to talk to.

The Divorce Coach provides a 30 minute personal support call in confidence. We will ask you to briefly explain your situation and guarantee to make some suggestions as to how you may best proceed, if you wish. Click here for more details.

BreakupAngels.com is a unique collaboration between leading relationship coaches and counsellors, legal specialists and financial experts offering integrated, supportive help to those undergoing the challenge of separation or divorce.

We - that's the author and Jackie Walker, the Divorce Coach in Scotland - knocked our heads together with a very special group of other people determined to make a difference in how relationship breakdown is managed - and came up with the The Breakup Angels. In a few weeks time you will be able to find the Breakup Angels at greatvine.com ,the revolutionary new service offering live, individual advice direct from the country’s best experts – from the comfort of your home phone. Speak live with the best, hand-selected experts in subjects ranging from relationships and health to parenting and education at greatvine.com

“Separation and divorce are acutely difficult times when trustworthy advice and individual support are a necessity. greatvine.com offers live advice from only the finest experts, so we’re delighted to work with the Breakup Angels . As leaders in the field their expertise will improve the lives of many.”

Meet the Breakup Angels and the team behind Greatvine.com in the Information Zone at the Starting Over Show (SOS). The Starting Over Show: Sunday 15^th March at the Old SHip Hotel, Brighton. To book an appointment with the Breakup Angels email mail@breakupangels.com or telephone 020 8123 9046.

BreakupAngels.com have teamed up with Independent Financial Adviser Bill Smith proprietor of Scotia Independent to host a FREE Financial Surgery at the Starting Over Show to help with the fall-out from divorce. Bill offers uncomplicated advice on how to manage the financial aspects of serious relationship breakdown. As an experienced financial expert, Bill advises clients in investment and pensions and specialises in divorce finance in both England and Scotland.

As a co-Founder of BreakupAngels.com I have been talking to the media highlighting how BreakupAngels.com can help people struggling with relationship breakdown at the Starting Over Show.

“By pinpointing the real causes of relationship breakdown, which sadly, are often of a financial nature, the Breakup Angels experts help steer a path through the emotions, and the financial and legal worries and enable people to see breakup can be a process of positive change, rather than a negative end.” Kirsten Gronning, co-founder BreakupAngels.com

Come and meet the Breakup Angels and Bill Smith at the Financial Surgery in the Information Zone at the Starting Over Show (SOS). The Starting Over Show: Sunday 15^th March at the Old Ship Hotel, Brighton. To book an appointment with the Breakup Angels email mail@breakupangels.com or telephone 020 8123 9046.

STOP PRESS - We are also hoping to have a debt experts in the Financial Surgery - stay subscribed for further details.

The Starting Over Show is the first UK event to help people bounce back from relationship break ups and life crises. On the day, it will be a safe haven in which soon-to-be singletons can take professional advice to build the confidence and skills they need to go it alone.

We are offering subscribers on our mailing list free tickets to this innovative and life changing event, including a talk by Daily Mail columnist and author Anna Pasternak, a free workshop with TV `Divorce Doctor' Francine Kaye, free legal and financial surgeries, and an Indulgence and Wellbeing room. If you are a subscriber, the code will have neen sent to you with this newsletter page link. If you not a subscriber, subscribe here to The Divorce Coach newsletter to get tips, advice, articles and resources to help you progress.

When you have the code, don't forget to visit the SOS website to put in the promotional code to register for two free tickets. Why not bring along a friend in need and help them to start over?

An Inspirational Person - let's call her Jools - felt it was unfair to negotiate on the false figures provided by her ex- husband and couragely decided to attend her final hearing which was part of her divorce process.

Jools wrote to me two days before her final hearing in her ancillary relief (financial split) proceedings:

It is two days before I am going to court for the final hearing and I am a total wreck. My x has sent several proposals for me to negotiate out of court one of them being no spousal maintenance from him as he wants a clean break with 50% of my pension. This was so ridiculous as my son would be 14 when I am 60 and he was refusing spousal maintenance but wanted to strip me of my pension.

You can read the full case study here. It was a pleasure to be able to help Jools. This is what she wrote when her case was over:

I advise anyone who has to face final hearing it is important to have guidance on preparing themselves as it can be very stressful in the room especially if you have not seen your x in a long time. Thank you Kirsten for all your help, you have been fantastic.

If you are facing a court hearing and having difficulty in coping in the run-up to it, or if you feel you need some mentoring to help you cope better in the day, then contact us free of charge to discuss how we can help. Our support programs are from £50 for a one-off consultation to £247 for a monthly program. Click the logo below to find out how we have helped many people cope with difficult negotiations and court apprearances.

How to Successfully Split - Live Event in Middlesex

If you can't wait until the SOS in March and you are struggling to make sense of everything and need expert help to do so, can you travel to Hampton, London on 21^st February to find some direction from breakup experts?

People are becoming more aware of the information and support that is available and are looking for it before they put all their cards on the table. They need time to digest what it is they are or may be going through; to try and make sense of it but this hasn’t been available in one place, face to face, before now. The Divorce Coach recognised a need to find trusted breakup experts and has brought them together in the safe environment of the One-Stop Divorce Workshop "How to Successfully Split".

Where else can you find personal, even 1-1 support from a variety of breakup experts for a fraction of the price of seeing them individually? If you are seeking to learn as much as you can about what you’re about to go through - or are already going through - so that you take control, join us for the opportunity of asking a specialist family lawyer, financial, relationship, and children experts about the issues which are important to you.

If you wish to save precious family assets and preserve your emotional well-being, check the next date in your diary now – Sat 21 February Hampton, Middlesex (easy London, M4, M3, M25.) Save £10 off the booking fee by booking now (places are limited) and taking advantage of the early bird discount and pay just £67. Book now on-line with the special code WKSP0845 or contact us for further information.

Click here to read more about how we have helped many people at the workshops over the last ten months and here to learn more about our breakup experts.

Recommended book -

"Financial Intelligence - Divorce - How to help yourself and your finances" by Sarah Pennells

This is a great book, necessarily serious yet 'easy' to read for a complex subject matter and some great contributors (well, I am biased, I was one of them along with some highly regarded lawyers and financial experts smile

) I don't know anything else quite like it: relatively jargon free, highly practical.

Here's what the publisher writes :

Divorce is not only becoming more common, it is becoming more complicated too. Unravelling joint finances can be a major headache and there is often uncertainty - on both sides - about what each party may be entitled to.
This book offers anyone contemplating divorce a practical, step-by-step guide to what they can expect. It will include important issues such as: key milestones in the divorce process; how to work out what your assets are worth; what happens to joint debts; how to keep divorce costs to a minimum; what to do if you own a business jointly.
The Financial Intelligence series offers down-to-earth, practical guides to personal finance, aimed at anyone interested in increasing their financial IQ. These guides will help readers to feel confident about making the right decisions when it comes to spending, saving and investing their money.

Read more and order with a 10% discount here

"Up to £500 paid upon publication - Daily Mail. Unusually, this time I'm looking for men whose wives cheated on them... since the pages of the media are always full of women whose husbands have had affairs, we thought it was time for cheated men to have their say. I'm looking for five men to take part - short phone interviews along the lines of where and when they met their wife, why they fell in love, when they got married, why things went wrong, how they discovered their wife was cheating and what the outcome of that was. We can pay £500 upon publication for a phone interview and a photo of them. The (ex) wife's name can be altered.

These men whose wives had affairs might have something to gain by taking part in the feature i.e. they wrote a book as a result / found their real true love / set up a support group or counselling service for other men in this situation etc."

If you can help with any of these requests, contact us as soon as possible with brief details of how you may be a suitable case study and we shall pass the message on to the journalist concerned.

Finally, drop me an email or call if you need help in clearing fog cleared pre, through or post divorce. And stay subscribed. And please spread the word by forwarding this newsletter to other people you know who would appreciate it, especially people needing some inspiration and motivation in relationship breakdown.

The Divorce Coach
Family breakup is a life changing event. We help to make it positive too.

Want to use these articles on your website or newsletter? You are very welcome, as long as you also write:

Kirsten Gronning The Divorce Coach specialises in creating the services people need to save time, stress and money including UK wide telephone support . Download your free special report "The 6 Critical Things nearly every separating and divorcing person wants to find out ... and what you can do to avoid any expensive pitfalls" for breakup tips now at www.divorcecoaching.co.uk

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Do you want to find guidance and support through family breakup? Subscribe here to The Divorce Coach newsletter to get tips, advice, articles and resources to help you progress.

January Newsletter :: Positivity in Breakup

How do I know if my marriage is really over?

BreakupAngels.com is born

Free Financial Surgery at the Starting Over Show

Free tickets to the Starting Over Show

Inspirational People

How to Successfully Split - Live Event

Financial Intelligence in Divorce

£500 fee for men whose wives cheated on them

How to Successfully Split - Live Event in Middlesex